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Ask Dr. Tseday: December 30, 2008

TA from Chino, CA asks: I’m a mother of two adopted daughters. The older one, who came about two years ago, is shutting down. When I ask her about it, she says everything is ok. She doesn’t say much, but overall she’s fine. Is there anything I can do to get her to talk to me or her father?

Dr. Tseday responds: There is loss, confusion, and separation from what is familiar when one leaves a homeland and adopts a new one. Give her room to mourn and time to adjust to a new place. Sadness is to be expected. It’s a healthy process. Show your love and care by letting her know you are there for her and that you understand. Fill your home with things that remind her of her home. Don’t be afraid of sad emotions.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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