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Marriage: Make It Business

To think of marriage as business not only sounds outrageous, it also goes against everything we have come to know and believe it to be. But this thinking is necessary. Business has certain qualities and characteristics marriage can afford to emulate. Just like business, marriage should be clear, dry and straightforward, leaving no room for feelings including love.

There is no question that love is the foundation of marriage. After all, it is love that brings a couple together. But as beautiful and necessary of a feeling love is, it does not give them an understanding about each other or about what each is agreeing to before marrying. Love and all the other funny feelings get in the way of clearly defining and understanding marriage. Love, therefore, should do marriage a favor and step aside. Marriage would then have a chance to establish the necessary foundation to flourish in the end.

The incorporation of business qualities and characteristics would require a couple to present to each other what each requires from the marriage. This requirement lets both know what the other is willing to do in the marriage. This discussion, juts as in business, should be clear, dry and straightforward. When this exchange takes place with honesty and integrity, each would know in advance where the other stands in fulfilling each other’s requirement. This eliminates not knowing, confusion, misunderstandings, hurts, expectations, and disappointments later on in the marriage.

As a couple sit down to tell each other with honesty what they require for a fulfilling marriage and what they are willing to do for each other, five categories should be kept in mind. They are:

  1. Emotional Connection (spending time together, talking, laughing, crying, supporting each other, friendship, family expansion);
  2. Physical Connection (sexual intimacy, physical touch);
  3. Intellectual Connection (sharing ideas, stimulating discussions, conveying opinions, constructive arguments, agreeing to disagree);
  4. Financial Connection (money management, earning, spending, saving); and
  5. Moral Connection (similarity in values).

A clear, dry and straightforward exchange between a couple is necessary. When done with honesty, it gives a couple clarity and understanding that is necessary for a flourishing marriage is built on solid foundation.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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