Ask Dr. Tseday: October 28, 2008

A. from Melbourne, Australia asks: My wife loves to fight with me. She will fight on the good and the bad. She is on medication, but it is getting worse. I find myself fighting back. She is now convincing me I am the abusive one, because my fuse is getting shorter. I like to think I am a nice person, but I am starting to believe her. Any advice here will be great.

Dr. Tseday responds: Is your wife fighting with you, the Man? Or is she fighting with you, the Husband? On the other hand, is she fighting wearing the Woman hat or the Wife hat? When you’re calm and willing, explore who is fighting who? Knowing this will give you a clearer picture of what the fight is about. There’s one crucial thing you’ve got to do before all this: Find out if there’s a connection between the medication she’s taking and her difficulties. If you don’t already know, get her evaluated by a medical doctor right away. It’s important. (understand that the advise I’m giving you is based on very limited information).