Life Simplified - Winner of 2013 Telly Award

Home Happy Home

HOME is a sanctuary. It is a place where we all unburden ourselves from the pressure and conformity of the outside world. It is the only safe place where we kick our feet up and let our vulnerabilities rest without qualm or apprehension. But I say HOME is more than that, and according to the Life Simplified Concepts (LSC), the methodology I developed, HOME, in addition to being a place of respite, is also a place of business where Happiness is produced. Like any enterprise whose purpose is to produce something of value, HOME is entrusted of producing the one commodity that is most valuable; Happiness.

In order to produce such a valuable commodity successfully and on a continuous basis, HOME needs to have the proper structure and platform conducive to achieving that end. Like all places of businesses, it needs a mode of operation, or lack of a better term, a code of conduct conducive to creating Happiness. HOME is where you and your partner mutually invest in each other’s Happiness, so when you return HOME, either from work or an outing, think of it as an opportunity to create Happiness for your partner. Under the LSC, marriage or a long-term relationship is defined as an agreement where two adults—as spouse and/or partner—come together to have their needs met to the partner’s full expectations, and HOME is the ideal setting where such an agreement is consummated.

As I hinted earlier, HOME is a place of business and you should treat it as such. Think of it as your “other” job. At work, you recognize a code of conduct and you follow it without doubt or resistance because you understand its purpose. When you go to work, you check your attitude at the door, follow the rules, and behave as such that it encourages productivity. You’re more than willing to adhere to a code of conduct bent of civility and success at work and yet, you fail to apply the same reasoning and motivation at HOME? That’s a shame.

Your HOME will always be a place where you can relax and be free but not at the expense of your spouse. Nor is it a place where you can behave loosely with unabated freedom that it does not invite Happiness. If you want to relax on your own after work before you “punch the clock” at your second job, do so before you enter your HOME. Do not bring your work frustration or your sulky attitude with you and make it your partner’s burden to carry. When you come HOME, I urge that you do so with one singular goal; to make your partner happy and give the opportunity to your partner to do the same for you. To achieve that, you must check your attitude at the door.

The code of conduct that cannot be ignored is Attitude. You cannot enter your HOME with an attitude that rejects Happiness. The same rule applies if you’re already HOME and your spouse is entering the house. If you didn’t have any problem accepting a code of conduct at work, and if you’re convinced by my analogy that your HOME is also a place of business where you and your spouse come together to maximizing each other’s happiness, then you better make sure that the attitude you bring HOME is always conducive to producing Happiness.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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