Life Simplified - Winner of 2013 Telly Award

Fixing Your Pain

The pain you feel deeply is so yours. Only yours. Regardless of what you’ve done, regardless of what others have said, it stays. This pain – oh! This pain – it has picked you, as if it has nothing better to do.

Payback. Sounds delicious, but it won’t fix your pain. Wondering around won’t do it either. If fact, everything you’re thinking about, everything you’re thinking of doing in the name of “payback” will compromise you. You’ll lose the essence of you. You will become someone you don’t like. These things you’re thinking of doing will, at the end, hurt you more. This, I promise you.

Stay put during this time. Don’t do anything that is outside your ordinary. Don’t do anything new. Don’t behave differently. Don’t make new friends. Don’t go to new places. Don’t dress differently. Don’t talk differently. Don’t smell differently. Don’t create a new routine. Stay put.

Don’t become like the others thinking they’ve got it better. They don’t. They and their opinions don’t matter. Yours does. You don’t have to prove anything to them. Don’t you dare lower yourself and be found in their company. You’re a much better human being, a much better woman than they are combined. Keep your standard. Stay put.

Time. She doesn’t mind taking away your pain. She won’t let it poke so much. If you do decide to come out of your element and do the things you’re thinking of doing, however, you’ll heal crookedly. You’ll heal with darkness in your heart. You’ll heal with anger and confusion. You’ll heal with uncertainty and doubt. You’ll heal without peace.

Heal correctly. Go through the pain while keeping the essence of who you are, who you’ve always been. Remember her and keep her. Go through the pain while maintaining your integrity. You’ll shine at the end.

This to you, S.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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