Ask Dr. Tseday: September 4, 2009

HTA from Chino, CA asks: HTA from Chino, CA asks: Ever since I started school, my boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been fighting. He says I don’t spend enough time with him at home. It’s true because I have to go to school, study, and go to work. He said we should get married so we can spend time together. How do I get him to accept that I want to go to school first?

Dr. Tseday responds: You don’t have to convince him of anything. Your plan should not depend on his understanding or agreement. You need to realize (and realize very quickly) that as long as you are living with him playing “house”, you will not likely finish your school, build a career, explore, travel, find your interests, etc. In fact, the chance of becoming a wife/mother will very much be in the near future, a role and responsibility you are not ready for at age 22. I suggest you end the relationship, find your own place, be on your own, have fun, and focus on completing your school.