Ask Dr. Tseday: November 19, 2008

M.S. from Chino Hills, CA asks: My parents have been married for 50 years. When I visit them my Dad is upset, grumpy and mean. He is jealous that my Mom and I talk about girl stuff and wants to know what we talk about. I think he is insecure and is used to having my Mom to himself. It’s very sad because I can’t enjoy their company. My Dad is always sparking up an argument. I think they both need counseling. What do you suggest? Thank you!

Dr. Tseday responds: No one needs counseling. Your parents are fine just the way they are. Your father is upset because he is feeling left out. The jealously and insecurity is understandable because you’re taking away his only company, even if it’s for a moment. The argument he sparks is a message for you to pay attention to him. I suggest you do just that. Spend quality time with just your father like you do with just your mother. He needs your love, attention and company just as much as your mother needs that special time with you.