Ask Dr. Tseday: May 2, 2010

MY from Kingston, Jamaica asks: I have finally gotten the courage to move out of the house. It was actually a spontaneous move where something happened and at that moment I decided that I can’t take it anymore. The problem now is that my youngest son (his child) is being affected by it. As a result, I am feeling as if I have done the wrong thing. How can I do things differently in order for my son to deal with it better?

Dr. Tseday responds: Mothers ought to support a relationship between their children and their fathers, provided the fathers are good fathers and when their goodness is seen in their behavior. Your son misses his father and is reacting to the change in his home. This is expected. If appropriate, make sure your son sees his father as often and as consistently as possible. For their relationship to continue, you have to make sure your relationship with the father is decent. However, this does not mean you have to have a relationship with the father. Understand that your relationship with the father is a man-woman relationship. This is independent from their relationship, which is a father-son one.