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Ask Dr. Tseday: January 4, 2010

VC from Apopka, FL asks: My wife has been keeping in touch with her ex-boyfriend for months and is now involved with another guy. We’re separated, but I still love her and I want to work on our marriage. Every time I call and she doesn’t return my call right away, my insecurities and distrust come up all over again. How do I handle these feelings?

Dr. Tseday responds: Your wife has shown you that she is not committed to your marriage by her behavior. Loving your wife is fine, but loving her doesn’t make her a fit wife. Working on your marriage has to be the decision you both have to make. While you want to do that, it doesn’t appear she wants to do the same. The way you handle your feelings of insecurity and trust is by removing yourself from the situation that creates them. Evaluate your desire to remain married to someone who does not want to be married.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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