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Ask Dr. Tseday: April 4, 2009

CJ from Canada asks: About four months ago, my husband had an affair. The affair is over now and we’re trying to mend our relationship. As part of the healing process for me, I think he should also come clean to our children. My husband is not willing to do that and I’m not sure now if he’s serious about working on our marriage. Is this a deal breaker?

Dr. Tseday responds: No, this is not a deal breaker. He should say absolutely nothing about his affair to the children. Your husband violated the marriage and his commitment to you. So, he has to come clean only to you. He does not owe any explanation to the children, since he did not violate his fatherhood or his father-children relationship.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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