Ask Dr. Tseday: December 3, 2008

F.B. from Riverside, CA asks: I was watching a heart-warming story on TV last week about a family who adopted a baby. When the boy turned six, the mom told him he was adopted. My husband and I are in the same situation. We adopted a son few years ago. He’s four now. I was thinking of doing the same thing when he got older. Two psychologists I talked to taught it would be a good idea. Do you have an opinion about this kind of thing?

Dr. Tseday responds: Don’t tell your son he was adopted. You and your husband are the only parents he knows and ought to know about. He doesn’t need to know anything more than that. Knowing he’s adopted is of no value to him. In fact, it’ll likely compromise him at a later age. There’s no need to put unnecessary doubts and questions in his head.