Ask Dr. Tseday: June 9, 2008

F.G. from Chicago, Illinois asks: Every time my husband and I try to talk about a money issue, we end up screaming at each other and placing blame on one another. How can we talk about this sensitive topic without it ending in a big fight?

Dr. Tseday responds: Money cannot be a sensitive issue since “it” doesn’t have feelings. What is sensitive is you and your husband, probably because you have not come to agree how to spend your money. I suggest you pick a day when neither of you has talked or argued about money for at least three days. Each of you separately write down and later show the other how the money should be spent, allocated, etc. Discuss it and come to an agreement. Include that if either of you wants to modify the agreement that you’d do this process all over again. That’s how you talk about it.