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Girls and Beauty Pagents. Not a Good Thing.

Parents mean well when they put their daughters in beauty pagents. They believe pagents will build their daughters’ self-esteem and confidence. They believe it will prepare them for the future. Some would even say it is a good thing because the earnings will pay for college. But the consequence beauty pagents brings to young girls at a later time outweighs the benefit.

Beauty pagents do not build self-esteem or confidence. They actually do the opposite. Pagents teach young girls to make others-with whom they have absolutely no connection-important in their lives, the sayers of who they are, the givers of value. Girls learn to “perform” for the pleasure of others. It teaches them to seek the applause. Pagents teach them beauty is valuable. They learn that the approval of others-again, those with whom they have absolutely no connection-is significant. They defer to others for their worth. Award ribbons and trophies become proof of how much they are valued, adored and loved.

What beauty pagents do is make young girls lose themselves. It makes them empty and confused about who they truly are. Instead of building themselves, exploring who they are, and finding themselves, it makes them ignore the process of self-discovery and defer to others. Pagents do not let girls build a very good sense of self. As the years go by, these girls continue to look for that same approval they once got, that approval outside of themselves. And the day others look away or stop applauding, they will wonder what they have done wrong. They will wonder why they are not worthy anymore. They will wonder why they are not loved anymore. That emptiness, confusion and pseudo-confidence will be exposed.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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