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Ask Dr. Tseday: January 3, 2010

BA from Baltimore, MD asks: My husband wants to go on a golf vacation with friends and family. I don’t want to go since we’ll be taking another vacation a month before. Do I have the right to tell him not to go?

Dr. Tseday responds: What right are you talking about? Adults in consensual and mature relationships do not tell one another what to do and what not to do. But to answer your question, you don’t have any right to tell him not to go if your reason is simply because you don’t feel like going. If you decide to stay, then you stay. Let him enjoy his golf. What you should do instead is be an instrument for his happiness. Get excited for him, help him pack, and send him out the door with something to remember. That’s what a mature and loving wife does.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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