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Category Archives: Articles
What It Takes To Fix A Relationship
I wish I could tell you that all marriages are salvageable or all relationships are meant to be, but I would be lying if I did. It is a fact however that all couples can work through their problems and often achieve to overcome their relationship difficulties, but that is only true when they really commit to working on their issues. As much as their attempt to fix their respective problems requires a good-faith effort, their prospective success in rescuing their relationships also depends on each party's aptitude and attitude when engaged in the process. By aptitude I mean the minimum amount of maturity required from each party involved, and attitude merely means that each party be fully committed to seeking a solution.
Damaging Fantasies: Part II of II
Women have to come to understand that they are to be available to satisfy men's sexual appetite within their marriage. But this does not mean that men are free to wonder around creating fantasies from borrowed realities and importing them into their relationship for women to satisfy.
Damaging Fantasies: Part I of II
There is misplaced arrogance in the disparaging comments women make when they talk about men's insatiable sexual appetite as somewhat of a weakness, for this appetite is not a handicap but a natural disposition worth celebrating. It is a bit shortsighted and uninformed to think that men's preoccupation with sex is volitional, and that with a little bit of self-control, maybe they can curb their canine-like behavior and act like the rest of us...
Unsent Letter From A Wife
I write this after many weeks of contemplation and soul searching, and finally admitting my contribution to the difficulty in our marriage. I want to start fresh by listing the things I'm going to do differently from now on to show you my commitment to you, our marriage, and our family. From now on, I promise I will not…
"Breakin' Dishes"
Oprah did not say much when she advised Rihanna not to go back to Chris Brown because the advise is as pragmatic as it is self-evident. It is true that one helps oneself by showing courage and not returning to an abusive partner, but doing do is half the battle. It is quite possible, if not highly probable that if Rihanna, to her own credit, leaves Chris Brown, she will end up in a new relationship with one who has not abused her yet. If Rihanna does not learn how to pick the right partner, leaving Chris Brown is only delaying the inevitable.
Once Beaten Forever Shy
We all fight in relationships. It happens. It is one thing to fight with our loves ones, but it is another to fight ugly. The fighting is supposed to better us and our relationship, not to instigate or flare up old wounds and confirm irreconcilable differences that end the relationship. If we want to end the relationship, why go through all this nastiness in being hurtful to each other; just walk away and call it quits.
An Affair To Forget
She came to my office very angry and hurt. She wanted to find out what to do about the ultimate betrayal her husband committed: an affair. She was certain of this because she checked his email and cell phone records, and found out that he has been talking to a woman many times a day for hours at a time.
Success Depends On You
Visiting a therapist is not the same as visiting a medical doctor. While the similarity is self-explanatory, the difference is less obvious thus worth noting since many of my past and existing patients do not have a grasp of this subtle yet important disparity. In short, one is interactive and the other is not, and this distinction is absolutely necessary for therapy to succeed.
Marriage: Make It Business
To think of marriage as business not only sounds outrageous, it also goes against everything we have come to know and believe it to be. But this thinking is necessary. Business has certain qualities and characteristics marriage can afford to emulate. Just like business, marriage should be clear, dry and straightforward, leaving no room for feelings including love.
It Takes Maturity to Fix A Relationship