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Ask Dr. Tseday: May 3, 2010

CB asks: I said something to my husband of 7 months about my husband who died 3 years ago. He was furious with me.

How do I seek forgiveness? I have begged for it and only made matters worse. It hurts me to know that he is angry with me.
I don’t know how to fix it. Please advise.

Dr. Tseday responds: If the “something” in any way undermines your current husband or marriage, then you have done wrong. If he is decent, mature, loving, honorable, and a man of integrity and value, the “something” must have hurt him badly for him to be furious with you. Once you have asked for forgiveness, then there is nothing more to say. There is nothing for you to fix. However, you have a decision to make. You either wait quietly until you get a response (forgiveness or not) from him, or decide you cannot wait anymore and reconsider your marriage. On the other hand, if the “something” is harmless and benign, then I would question his level of maturity. With lack of maturity, you are bound to have many more difficulties with him and in this marriage. Again, you have a decision to make about your marriage.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

6 Comments

  1. Mekonen
    Posted 01/02/14 at 4:04 AM | Permalink

    Dear Dr. Tseday,
    Truly, I want to forward you both my warmest greetings and appreciation for your interview session @ Helen Show (EBS).
    I am a single male and I learned a lot of information which can help me with my future life.
    Again, thank you.
    Mekonen

  2. Meseret
    Posted 01/28/14 at 6:55 AM | Permalink

    How are you Dr. Tseday? I watched your talk show with Helen on EBS. Though I am not married and not in a relationship, I liked it very much as it touch all important situations. It is a very nice of you as an Ethiopian woman to be engaged in such profession. I am proud of you. God bless you more.

  3. Daniel
    Posted 03/27/14 at 12:10 AM | Permalink

    I watched your interview on Helen Show and was impressed, but one thing you said about infidelity specially caught my attention. I’m a married man having a serious problem with the things you mentioned and want to have more discussion on the issue. How can I contact you?

  4. Posted 03/26/15 at 11:57 PM | Permalink

    I watched your interview on Helen show,you have good knowledge about spouses.
    God bless you more!!

  5. Ruth
    Posted 07/16/15 at 4:07 AM | Permalink

    Dear Dr. Tseday:

    I have seen your interview at Helen Show and it was amazing. I learned a lot from you. I think you should share your knowledge and experience maybe by writing a book because there is a lot I can be learn from you.

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