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Ask Dr. Tseday: May 3, 2010
CB asks: I said something to my husband of 7 months about my husband who died 3 years ago. He was furious with me.
How do I seek forgiveness? I have begged for it and only made matters worse. It hurts me to know that he is angry with me.
I don’t know how to fix it. Please advise.
Dr. Tseday responds: If the “something” in any way undermines your current husband or marriage, then you have done wrong. If he is decent, mature, loving, honorable, and a man of integrity and value, the “something” must have hurt him badly for him to be furious with you. Once you have asked for forgiveness, then there is nothing more to say. There is nothing for you to fix. However, you have a decision to make. You either wait quietly until you get a response (forgiveness or not) from him, or decide you cannot wait anymore and reconsider your marriage. On the other hand, if the “something” is harmless and benign, then I would question his level of maturity. With lack of maturity, you are bound to have many more difficulties with him and in this marriage. Again, you have a decision to make about your marriage.
About the author
Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »