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Ask Dr. Tseday: March 13, 2010

TK from London, UK asks: My sister was killed last year and her husband will be locked up for along time. In the meantime, I’ll be raising their two children along with mine. The children know their mother has died, but they ask lots of questions about their father. I am deeply hurt and furious I have nothing good to say about him anymore. The question I have for you is what to say to the children when they ask about him. Any advice help. Thank you for your time.

Dr. Tseday responds: You must put aside your feelings towards the father when it comes to the children. They are the most important now and you must take care of them as best as you can. So, answer all their appropriate questions with calm and ease. Make sure your emotions are absent when you are doing so. Do not let them detect negativity in your response, tone, attitude, or mood. Do not let them see your discomfort, disregard, or dislike towards him.

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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