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Ask Dr. Tseday: December 1, 2009

MC from Murrieta, CA asks: I’m married, but my two girlfriends are single. They go out a lot, but I only go with them once in a while. My husband has a problem with that. He doesn’t care for them that much and gives me a hard time every time I get ready to go out. I like my friends, but he thinks I need to drop them. Does he have any say about my friends?

Dr. Tseday responds: No, he does not. You get to pick your friends. You do need to realize, however, that a husband and wife ought to have the same values. If your friends do not have the values you and your husband hold, then you compromise who you are, which eventually impacts who and what you become in your marriage. The only question you have to answer is: “Do I want friends whose values are different from mine?”

About the author

Dr. Tseday is a clinical psychologist and one of the country's leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self development. She advocates a unique and at times controversial approach to the dynamics of marriage and personal development, the necessary element for a successful relationship. Read more »

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